it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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