Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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