Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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