i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
