my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So much Jack, so little girl.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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