yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
