My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
