slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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