I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
