What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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