Me too!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize