Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
