no. you can't hotbox the world.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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