3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
