She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
