What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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