He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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