Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
