Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
