I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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