Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
