i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
