If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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