Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
