He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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