All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
