idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
