Cold hands, warm shart.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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