i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
