I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
