All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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