we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
