Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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