Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
