4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
