I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
