Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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