"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
