all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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