and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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