I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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