I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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