i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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