I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
