How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
