Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
