Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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