I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
