I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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