either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
