at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
