so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
