So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my shit smells like andre
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
