i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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