She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
