You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
