I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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