..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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