Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
