Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
