i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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